Saturday, March 21, 2009

WARNING - *Very* Adult Content!! Hounen Matsuri



What is simply called "a fertility festival" in Japan would be referred to as 'a drunken mob parading a six foot long phallus down the main street of a tiny town' in the U.S. But it doesn't end there! There's also extreme amounts of mochi throwing (which is extremely hard and can leave bruises and welts like there's no tomorrow!), tonsssss of great phallus-shaped souvenirs (some as obvious as penis lollipops, and some merely suggestive, as in white chocolate dipped bananas!), fabulous food (I still wish I hadn't eaten the eyes!), and a plethora of entertainment available!!

If any of these wonderful things offend you, please read no further, and for goodness sake, *don't* view the photos below!!

So what am I talking about?? Good question! Last weekend I travelled four hours to the sleepy town of Komaki, along with every other Gaijin (foreigner) in Japan!! Wendell and I took a food lap first (we're always thinking!) and I immediately secured some lollipops for souvenirs, a white-chocolate dipped banana with a little chocolate penis on it (as if the banana isn't suggestive enough!), and some Okonominyaki (a kind of omelet with noodles, shrimp, bacon, vegetables, cheese, and some brown sauce). After the first crunch I realized I was actually eating whole shrimp, tails, eyes, and all! That didn't sit too well with your girl, but I ate around the bigger ones! It was quite good really!!

While we dined we got to see a Taiko performance, which was amazing!! Taiko are the huge Japanese drums that are also at the Japan pavilion in Epcot. Some of the children performing looked to be 5 years old! It was so cute!! They did a few different songs, and Wendell took a short video on his camera so please see below!

After that we wandered aimlessly, snapping pictures left and right, looking for a trash can (which are always impossible to find in Japan!), and letting our squid and eyes digest! Wendell just happened to glance another teacher we knew and it was all downhill from there! After about an hour of cell phone calls we realized that almost everyone I knew in Japan was there (minus two of my fave's, Nick and Daryn)! All seven of us got together, ate more suggestive foods, and just hung out and had an all-around amazing time!

Until two o'clock, which was when we had a ridiculously fantastic time!!! Why? Because that's when the parade started!! Hysterical! But the crowd was soooo enormous that we had to put Cris on Wendell's shoulders to get any decent pictures! She's light and he's incredibly strong, so no problems there!

A lot of my buddies here are from England and Scotland, so of course they needed an afternoon beer. Luckily, right across the street was a liquor store (dubbed Liquor Mountain, hahaha!) so the boys got their wish! I opted to stick to water and just sit back and enjoy the festivities! See the pics below for more of the story!



The Okonominyaki vendor. She seemed a little mad at life.



Ohhhh Taiko! I love you!!






We saw a sword demonstration. This guy was obliterating a thin piece of bamboo.
At least, I think that's what happened, LOL. I was actually too busy taking on and off layers because the weather was being bi-polar that day!!


My friend Ed, behind the lense.




My only suggestive photo...
Hey JAPAN necklace wearers: can you see that I'm wearing it?? =D


This very trusting stranger asked me to hold his camera lense. It was when they told me it cost about $1,200 that my hands started to sweat very badly. I was too scared to hold it, so I cradled it like a baby.
Shhhhh! It's sleeping!!


You laugh, but white chocolate covered bananas are DELICIOUS!!!

This guy was crazy! He wore this thing on his back and people posed for pictures with it (wayyyy more Japanese people did this than Gaijins!) and we didn't pose with it. Underneath the phallus was a sign that said "pull me here." That's just wrong.


While waiting for the parade to start, this great guy sketched a picture of Wendell and then gave it to him! Sweet, huh?


I wonder if it takes the man the entire year to carve these things??


If Japan, if you're hot, put a box on your head. It makes all things better!


Ed enjoyed his lolli! The one in his right hand is actually a vagina lolli. It was left over from the women's fertility festival the weekend before. This is both good and bad news. I jabbed at the guys that it does technically take both things to be fertile, but they didn't want to hear it! Stupid men!

There were wayyyy too many children there for my tastes. Notice, she has a lolli, too!

That parade stayed in one spot for almost twenty minutes (seriously!)!
"Cris, we need a play by play! What's happening???"
"Here's the play by play: NOTHING!"


Just to give you a taste of the crowd!


Mike and Ayako! Couple since 2007 and so cute!


The nicest stranger ever! He had me hold onto his lense for him.



Right in front of Liquor Mountain. Hysterical!
Notice the kanji symbol on the red sign? That means "alcohol."
Thanks to Bruce it was the first Kanji I learned here.


This guy led the parade.


People pray to this thing (couples hoping for a baby, prostitutes hoping for a "clean year," etc.)!





Knowing the trains would be a bear, we decided to hunker down in the parking lot of Liquor Mountain for a few hours. Most everyone had a few more beers and played "fling the mochi." I'm the only person who hit an innocent stander-by. My bad!!


I <3 Ayako! She's so great! She's a real teacher at a real school (not a koushi like me!) =D


Ed, Mike, Wendell and I ended the night at a British Pub back in Nagoya. The guy in the pink sweater and the girl in front in white are newly weds... as in, they got married THAT DAY!
Wendell bought everyone a shot to celebrate.

Which reminds me, one of my students was trying to tell me that she thinks I must be a morning person because I have so much energy. But it came out like this:
"I think you're a morning person, because you look like a celebration."
BEST COMPLIMENT EVERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


At the station saying good-bye! To be continued tonight, at Wendell's Welcome Party!
PARTY!! =D

Sunday, March 8, 2009

~This is Scarlett~

Here she is! Isn't she a beauty?? The color is extremely unusual for Japan, too so I'll be able to find her a crowd easily (good thing, too! There are dozens, sometimes hundreds of bikes in one place!)
And the color is a really high-shine metallic dark red! I figured Scarlett was super appropriate.
Props to Vivienne Leigh, yo!


These are the other bikes in the yard. They're a little jealous.


I like to ride side-saddle like that lady that I am.
Actually, I just didn't have time to jump on it properly!

My Life in Pictures


I went out with Wendell and Ai alll day (and night) yesterday and we had so much fun! I told them about the Recycle shop I went to last week and they wanted to see it too so we hopped a bus and were on our way! The interesting thing about this shop (and speaks volumns about people here, I think) is that they have tons of namebrand, really nice, brand new with tags, etc. stuff that people just got rid of (although we're not sure yet if it's a pawn shop or just a depository?). And everything from electronics to paintings, bicycles to clothes, toys to traditional kimono, a bunch of slot machines, re-ment, washers, furniture, musical instruments, cds, movies, and of course the namebrand goodies at insanely low prices: Burberry, Chanel, Hermes, Coach, Louis Vuitton, Tiffany&Co., etc.

I bought a bike which I am insanely stoked about! It is a gorgeous reddish/maroon color (which is extremely unusual in Japan) and looks brand new! Bikes here are amazing with all the little bells and whistles! There's lights that power up as you pedal so you don't have to worry about batteries dying, a bell, an attached lock (not a chain) so the bike can't be stolen, a registered number so if it gets stolen the police can track it, a big basket on the front, and a flat thing on the back to strap down something or give a friend a ride (which might technically be illegal... maybe... perhaps... but I'm a dumb gaijin so I don't understand the laws)! =D

So we went through the store's two floors with a fine-tooth comb and each got some goodies at rock bottom prices and then went to a super yummy Japanese resturant for dinner (can you say BEST chicken ever? YUM!!)! Ai went to bed after that but Wendell and I headed out for some karaoke and massage chairs. Ahhhh, fun!



While I was picking out my bike, Ai took this one alllll around the store! It was hysterical to me!!!


We found a Hawaiian/tropical style hotel on the way home, complete with palm trees and burning torches outside! It made us feel like we were in the tropics!! Ahhhhh, our images are so fun!!



Wendell and Elliot sharing a moment. Wendell said he wants one, too and he's going to name it Wallace.
That is too fabulous for words!


Ai was making a moutache with her hair and laughing like a Frenchman. It was great!


Wendell doing the YES Dance at karaoke! HYSTERICAL!!

Walking Alone


Last weekend I got a little restless and decided to try to *walk* to this Recycle Shop that a friend took me to about a month ago. I walked to the Akaden (20 minute walk), then took the train to Hamamatsu City. From there I walked for over 2 miles (which feels like forever in a city!) to get to the Vintage Pick-Up store. I decided to document the trip a little, so here is an average street/sidewalk in Ham. Notice how WIDE the sidewalk is? And the yellow stripes? I'm glad you asked! Those have raised bumps and grooves for visually impaired people (of which there are MANY). I think the system is really great!


Something about this house intrigued me. I think it was the massive bamboo-looking privacy fence they constructed on the blamcony. Hmmm....


I arrived!!! I was trying to take a picture of the store front but I moved the camera too fast.
I think this looks cooler than the store front anyway, LOL!


This is a very creepy character that is popular in Japan. I can't remember his name but he's a cute teddy bear with BLOOD dripping his his sharp claws and mouth. Nice, huh?

This picture is especially for Lydia. It's a VW van that I think looks pretty cool, too!! =D

In Japan, *every* KFC (even the little ones in malls) have a statue of Colonel Sanders.
That is insanely funny to me.

This picture has three points. One: to show off the uniformity of most cars in Japan and how "squarish" they look. 2. To demonstrate how every SINGLE driver BACKS INTO their parking spot (when Americans usually avoid it like the plague, LOL!), and 3. This building (beautiful building, sorry the pic didn't capture) is called the Hamamatsu Fashion Community Center. I have no idea if it's about fashion... or a community center... or what. I should have run inside but I was on a mission!


So that you don't have to cross the wide, busy streets, there are also lots of tunnels that run underground. This door reminded me of Alice in Wonderland. It was super tiny (as evident by the boots left outside it!)! The door was so tiny! I wouldn't have been able to fit through it! And inside I could see bags of cans and maybe trash. But then I ran away because I heard something moving in there and you never know...


I thought this would tickle my Dad. Look! It's the Ford dealership in Hamamatsu!!



The sun is setting and I'm stillll walking (and in the wrong direction, LOL. I got home long after dark!)


A new bookstore opened in the station with a small selection of English books and magazines. I flipped through this Vogue and then noticed the price: $25.00. Seriously people?! Hmmm....

My conclusion: Walking alone is really fun when the weather is decent. But it takes forever! I have to get a bike (hehe, spoiler alert!) =D