It's a bit of a sick joke that any time I manage to squeeze in what *could be* a seven or eight hour sleep, I wake up sweating with my heart racing after only 3 or 5 hours. What is up with the bad dreams??
Some people say bad dreams are your subconscious trying to process things but that seems a little unfair to me. How can I be fine and happy in my every day life but not realize that my subconscious is suffering??? Doesn't make sense to me!
I've had very few bouts or homesickness these past few months but sometimes I can feel a cannonball drop from my throat to the pit of my stomach while battery acid races through my veins and a wave of sadness crashes over me. That's how I woke up this morning at 5:47am. Today is going to be rough enough as it is (with my scores of Rocky classes) to let a bad dream wrap its influence around me. How can a dream that really holds no threat be so damn scary or leave you feeling so damn affected?? Because it feels so damn *real!* Another awesome trick played by the stupid human mind. (I ran out of ten dollar words, lol, and most refocus my vocabulary back to my usual penny slangs.)
I don't really want to post the dream online for the world to see, though I do remember it clearly.
Let's just say I love you, I miss you, and I *really* am doing good! If only I could turn my mind off at night (and could lose some of these kids classes!)! ;-) I have a feeling I'm not the only sensei who feels that pain, haha! Have a great weekend!! I'll talk with you soon!
Love, S
2 comments:
No no trust me, I'm not sleeping well. The past few nights I've been waking up soaking wet from sweating (not sure from a fever or from nightmares) and I recently had a dream I was walking to my car in America and I got car-jacked and shot. Twice. Lovely!
okay, I have been having some really weird and sometimes disturbing dreams recently too, but none that have woken me up and kept me up (though, one time, I thought there was a giant spider on my pillow, and I nearly killed myself trying to get out of that bed as quickly as possible). other than that, I've been sleeping pretty good for the fact that my bed is much harder than I'm used to. sorry to hear you guys are having such sleeping issues! hope they clear up soon!
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